Monitoring The Situation

First off, are the “clever” entry titles really necessary?

Let’s see, I’m going to write about video monitors, so let’s name it, hmmm, MONITORING THE SITUATION! Yes, God, YES! I am fucking BRILLIANT. 2008 Blogger’s Choice Award, here I come.

16 months into this parenting gig, we JUST purchased a monitor for Wito.

You already know where this is going, don’t you? Oh, C’MON. Not every little thing written on this website has to do with my obsessive-compulsive issues.

Except. That it does. Peace be with you.

You see, we don’t need a monitor. We live in a 1950’s bungalow, people. Our bedrooms share a wall, which has a built-in floor furnace that heats both of the bedrooms. In other words, the only object dividing us from Wito is a contraption of heavy metal grating. We can hear everything. More specifically, I can hear everything. Rustling? Yes. Heavy breathing? Yes. Wito’s brain transitioning sleep cycles? I do believe so.

However, during the past two months, we have been wading in teething territory, or what I would like to call “Operation Holy Molars”.

Once again! Brilliant AND witty! Vote here! *pumping fists in air*

These son-of-a-bitch molars have caused some erratic night waking, but it’s difficult for us to assess the son-of-a-bitchdom because Wito’s crib sits right next the door. If we open that door, it’s all over. But what if the random moaning signals pain? What if his foot is stuck in the crib railing? What if some satanic looking Santa has crept into his room and is stab, stab, stabbing him?

The questions. My God, the questions.

Long story short. We bought a video monitor. And it rocks.

What’s Wito doing right now, you ask?


Why, he’s taking a nap! Thanks for asking.

What about now?


Oh, yes. Still sleeping.

5 minutes later?


Sawing logs, that kid.







This can’t possibly bode well for me.

  • SAJ

    December 12, 2007 at 5:30 pm

    hee hee! I want one now.

  • Elizabeth

    December 12, 2007 at 5:46 pm

    I have never seen somthing that ingenious. Night vision, too?

    Yes! It is RADICAL.

  • brooke

    December 12, 2007 at 5:55 pm

    which monitor did you get? i like the looks of it.

    I got this one :


    Now, I must stress that you research your cordless phone and wireless router (if you have one) frequencies before purchasing a monitor. For instance, our cordless phones operate on a 5.8 GHz frequency and our wireless router on a 2.4 MHz. If I would have bought a monitor with one of those frequencies, I’d be dealing with static/interference issues. This particular monitor is a 900 MHz frequency, so it doesn’t compete with the other systems.

    Wow, that was a little more information that you asked for, no?

  • Gretchen

    December 12, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    No offense, but you totally remind me of Rachel on Friends when she and Ross get locked outside the apt with Emma inside and Rachel worries about all the ridiculous possible catastrophes that could be occurring inside. My hu’band and I give that dialog a good read every time we feel the paranoia setting in. Don’t all parents get that way sometimes?

  • She Likes Purple

    December 12, 2007 at 6:02 pm

    That is the most awesome monitor I’ve ever seen.

  • nabbalicious

    December 12, 2007 at 6:03 pm

    I want one, and I don’t even have a kid.

  • Emily

    December 12, 2007 at 6:25 pm

    Did Wito ever transition to just one nap or he still going strong with two? Also DUDE HE TOTALLY TAKES UP THAT ENTIRE CRIB. I mean, you said he was tall, but? HE IS REALLY FREAKING TALL.

    Sorry for the Caps Lock.

    One nap. He never looked back after that whole debacle started. And lately? The ONE nap has been 55 minutes. *crying in my wine*

  • Manda

    December 12, 2007 at 6:43 pm

    Oh heaven help you!!

  • Sundry

    December 12, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    We also have a video monitor and it kicks. So. Much. Ass. We can hear everything in our house too, but now I can fully assess the situation before ignoring/rescuing. Standing and wailing full force while face shows despair? Enter. Wailing while leaning half-asleep against the crib and occasionally passing out mid-whimper? IGNORE.

  • Kelly~Mommy and the Marine

    December 12, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    You don’t have to preach to me. We have one. In fact, we have bought 3!!!! That’s how psycho we are. We first bought a used one because we weren’t sure how much we really needed it. But when I found myself using it when Dom was sleeping in the SAME ROOM with us, I became crazed. And wanted a “better” one so I got one.

    We traveled to California without it… I went nuts and it happened to be the ONE night my child figured out how to escape the pack ‘n play. My ass was out buying another one the next day. So now my parents have one at their house all set up and we use it every time we travel. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

  • Spandrel Studios

    December 12, 2007 at 7:27 pm

    Wow! This is fantastic, just as I was just wracking my brain for a baby shower gift!

  • Angella

    December 12, 2007 at 7:35 pm

    I always wanted a video monitor, but my Dutch (and cheap!) hubby vetoed it.

    I may have to start the campaign again.

  • sizzle

    December 12, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    oooh high tech!

  • glamgranola

    December 12, 2007 at 7:52 pm

    I have a friend who has a video monitor and she has a love/hate relationship with it; She can’t stop checking it in the middle of the night!

  • Ashlie

    December 12, 2007 at 8:19 pm

    They must be pumping that OCD stuff into our water system, ’cause damn! I think I got it too….

  • metalia

    December 12, 2007 at 8:23 pm

    Oh, we already decided that we’re getting a video monitor the next time around. The damn creaky door to T’s room has caused me to wake him up from a sound sleep more times than I care to think about.

    Also, are you *really* scared of a Stabby Santa in Wito’s room? Because I myself have an admittedly irrational fear of a psychotic clown popping out of his closet when I go to check on him, particularly late at night. (Hint: Here’s where you say “yes” to spare me embarrassment.)

  • justJENN

    December 12, 2007 at 11:48 pm

    Once when I was watching the video monitor, my Baby looked directly in the camera and slapped it away. Freakiest thing I have ever seen.

  • Shawna

    December 13, 2007 at 5:07 am

    You are going to be so hooked. Can’t wait to read your blog again in a couple of years when you tear yourself free.

  • hello insomnia

    December 13, 2007 at 6:43 am

    This liveblogging of the monitor is awesome.

  • Courtney

    December 13, 2007 at 6:49 am

    No offense, but Wito’s crib kind of looks like a trash can from that angle.

    Cool monitor, though! I want one, but alas, I am childless. Perhaps I’ll use it to check on the kitchen sink. You know, make sure it’s still there.

  • Dani

    December 13, 2007 at 7:21 am

    Oh! Oh!

    I think I need one.


    What if one of the cats (who have utter disdain for my daughter) climb into her crib to cuddle? Or to sit on her (one is huge)? What if they steal her breath away and I don’t know because I CAN’T SEE INTO HER ROOM?!

  • Auntie LaLa

    December 13, 2007 at 7:32 am

    This is totally weird. Yesterday I was watching A Baby Story and the couple had one of these and I said I wanted one. Where did you get this?

  • Auntie LaLa

    December 13, 2007 at 7:35 am

    Never mind:) I guess if I would have read the comments first I could have answered my own question.

  • Sabrina

    December 13, 2007 at 8:18 am

    This makes me feel so much better… I’ve been itching for a video monitor because of all the paranoia, but felt weird about purchasing one now that AJ is already a year old. However, with Operation Holy Molars to look forward to, it may still be worth the investment…

  • Isabel

    December 13, 2007 at 8:52 am

    Apparently you live in the future with the Jetsons. I had no idea they even had these video tv thingys. I thought my audio monitor was high tech.

  • Michelle

    December 13, 2007 at 9:08 am

    I got one when we moved my daughter from the crib to her big-girl bed. I was up all freakin’ night watching it to make sure she didn’t get out of bed and trash her room. It was awesome.

  • Photographer Lori

    December 13, 2007 at 10:04 am

    You are too funny! :) I would be the same way, I’m sure.

  • andrea

    December 13, 2007 at 10:21 am

    Purchasing video monitor right this very second. Although I think it will only add to my obsessive compulsive disorder, but the picture is so clear on this particular model. Not scary night vision like all the others I’ve looked at.

  • Michelle in Cincinnati

    December 13, 2007 at 10:55 am

    Love the monitor…my sister in law is expecting their baby in April, so this would be a cool gift for mommy, daddy, and baby! Glad your little Wito is feeling better! You’re a trip, Whoorl :o)

  • sunny

    December 13, 2007 at 11:14 am

    I have perfected the stealth-ninja-peering-into-crib move after 2 years … but this does look tempting! :)

  • maliavale

    December 13, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    He looks like he’s sleeping in a laundry basket. Man, that is cute.

  • Lisa

    December 13, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    a video monitor was one of the first things i purchased when i found out i was pregnant…and my love for it has no end. my little guy is almost one and i can honestly say it has more than paid for itself in the sheer piece-of-mind department. so yeah, i’m a crazy first-time mom alright… a warning: prepare yourself for random 3 a.m. episodes of monitor hovering, for no apparent reason.

  • Lisa

    December 13, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    I am seriously laughing right now, because I am seriously addicted to the monitor….I am on my second one, because my lovely husband (who prides himself on his packing ability) packed it for Hawaii, and when we unpacked the antennae was broken. You can imagine the panic I felt, but we were able to tape it together. I also love it, because when he wakes up early from his nap I can get a couple of more things done knowing he is safe and just playing in his crib!

  • Liss

    December 13, 2007 at 1:59 pm

    I have the same monitor and I love it so much it is possibly a sign of a mental imbalance. The best part is that my daughter has figured out that I can see her through the camera and can be found leeeeeaaaaning toward the camera with big huge eyes saying “Hi Mama? Mama dere? All done?” when she is done with her nap.

  • Mary C

    December 13, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    They are addictive! I saw no use for them at all, and when we moved we got one and now I don’t know how we ever lived without it!

  • lulu

    December 13, 2007 at 4:09 pm

    LOL! Too good

    I have been wanting one of those, but I don’t think we’ll end up getting one, since my husband’s favorite time spent with the baby is when he’s asleep. I.e. he enters the room every half hour after 7 pm (bedtime) just to “check”. “But it’s been so LOOOONG since we’ve seen him!” GRRRRRRR – NO IT HASN’T!
    Have fun!

  • nita

    December 13, 2007 at 9:48 pm

    oh boy. i should have glued that thing to my head. i was nuts about the monitor! she’s three now. it’s still in there. now we can hear her ‘working’ through her day and it’s priceless.

    not so priceless? when i was in her room, 2am, trying to get her back to sleep by faking sleep myself, and seeing her lean over into the monitor and say, “Daddy! I need a drink!” like she was at a drive-up window :)

    i am so glad i didn’t get a video monitor. i would NEVER sleep! but, uh, can you upload video? i imagine watching that babe sleep would be very relaxing!!!

  • am'ti b

    December 14, 2007 at 6:55 am

    leave it to you to find the perfect electronic! good gift idea……

  • OMSH

    December 16, 2007 at 5:45 am

    OH MY WORD I’m totally putting that in my girls room to catch when they mouth obscenities at me after I leave.

  • a happier girl

    December 16, 2007 at 1:33 pm

    My second kid is 23 months old and I seriously wish we had gotten one. Our son gets up from a nap and looks like he hasn’t slept only he didn’t make a sound for 2 hours. We’re dying to find out what he does in his crib all that time.

  • Neptunebaby

    December 18, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    You are hilarious! I have been reading your blog for quite some time now and you never fail to make me laugh.

    It’s hard to believe that my daughter was so tiny when I started reading your blog (in fact, was she even born yet? hmmm, can’t remember now) and there seemed to be such a huge difference between your son and my daughter. Now, to think that he is 16 months and she is 13 months… not really so different anymore.

    I think my daughter is starting to get molars too because she has been super cranky lately and waking up in the middle of the night. Oh, wait.. she always wakes up in the middle of the night because she is 13 months old and STILL doesn’t sleep through the night! But I can see the little buds starting to poke through. Ouch!

    Ok.. ending the novel now.