Nice To Meet You, I’m Your Wife
My husband has morphed into a new person when it comes to eating.
Have I told you that D is a vegetarian? Going on 13 years now…no meat, pork or chicken. It’s pretty impressive, considering he grew up in a major red-meat-eating state. I’m not a vegetarian, but I probably eat less meat than most due to the fact that we eat the same dinner almost every night.
I have to admit, when the weather gets a little cooler, I secretly wish I could make yummy pot roast and all things crock pot. We have one, but it has been gathering dust since we received it as a gift two years ago.
My wish may come true very soon.
One night while in Cabo, my family decided to cook steaks out by the pool. I, of course, wasn’t part of this lovely dinner. No, I was stuck inside while E. Coli bacteria shot out of my ass and mouth simultaneously. Good times.
When Dustin checked on me in my personal temple of doom, he told me he was thinking about trying some steak. “EXCUSE ME? Did I hear you right or has the dehydration caused me to hallucinate? You want to eat STEAK? The bloody carcass of a cow? That gave you such digestive problems? Huh?”
He told me yes and disappeared into the mexican night. Of course, I had nothing better to do than over-analyze this sudden change of behavior while sitting on the pot.
1) He is now a father, and fathers eat beef ’cause they’re manly men.
2) Since his wife was spewing all day, he figured he could make himself ill and spend some quality time together in the john.
3) He was feeling left out considering my family LOVES the beefs.
4) This is the start of early-onset dementia.
I don’t know what it was, but he came into the room after dinner, plopped on the bed and described in vivid detail how amazing his palm-sized steak (PALM-SIZED! NOT JUST ONE BITE! LIKE 6 OR 7 BITES!) was.
And no gastric distress was involved. I was forced to cry in the temple of doom all by myself.
Last night, we ordered pizza and a salad from CPK. I did my normal ordering, pepperoni for me, cheese for him, salad with the bacon on the side, blahblahblah. As I sat on the couch eating my salad, D sauntered in with a handful of bacon- just munching away. And then, for the kicker, he ate a piece of pepperoni pizza.
Let’s tally this up- steak, bacon AND pepperoni in less than two weeks. And we’re planning on a Rachael Ray Bacon Wrapped Tenderloin soon.
Anybody got any non-vegetarian crock pot recipes?