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Just a couple of things…

I’ve learned during the trials and tribulations of being knocked up.*

1. People are generally way nicer to you. It took me a while longer than most to experience this rule firsthand due to the belly that refused to pop out for eons. But it’s here now, so please, dote on me if you wish.

2. I read somewhere that there are three times in a woman’s life when they have more “emotional difficulty” than usual- puberty, pregnancy and menopause. I couldn’t disagree more…these past 7 months have been very calming for me. Although I’ve had my moments, my anxiety levels have plummeted. Of course, this doesn’t mean that my feelings aren’t completely hurt that my husband STILL hasn’t used the Nikon D70 that I bought him for Christmas. It’s fine, honey. I’ll just go take a dip in the ocean…don’t mind these concrete blocks tied to my ankles.

3. Having a long torso is incredibly helpful when you are pregnant; however, this does not mean you should attempt trying on your size 2 business suits when you are 7 months along. Not necessary. Really.

4. Progesterone is my best friend. It is the hormone responsible for the slowing of the GI tract during pregnancy, which pisses most pregnant women off due to the whole constipation issue. However, being a woman on the complete other end of the spectrum, progesterone has made my GI tract behave normally. This means I can down half a bottle of Tapatio sauce and not end up racing to the nearest toilet like my pre-pregnancy days. I love me some Tapatio.

5. Bikini waxes hurt a trillion times more when you are pregnant.

6. What’s up with the slowing of the hair growth on my legs? Could I be dreaming? It’s a beautiful thing.

7. Naps are key. And to all the pregnant moms taking care of toddlers out there, you deserve a huge shiny trophy and a trip to the Bahamas. I don’t know how you do it ’cause this gal is TI. RED.

8. The gestational diabetes test sucks donkey balls.

9. There is no need to worry about my J. Crew addiction screeching to a halt due to lack of maternity wear. I can still buy these and these and this and this. Oh, and whoorlito, I know it will be a couple of years, but have you seen this?

10. Chocolate milk, you complete me.

*specific to my own experience, of course.

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19 Comments
  • wordgirl

    May 24, 2006 at 2:48 pm

    Long torso here. I still looked like a tour bus, though.

  • S.

    May 24, 2006 at 3:21 pm

    Tapatio rocks! I could never eat it during pregnancy though because of the heartburn, Lord, the heartburn.

    I run a website that lists ttc, expecting, and new parent bloggers to help us all find one another. I have added your blog to the due date listings. If you would like for me to remove the link to your blog or if I need to correct any information, please do let me know.

    Thank you and congratulations!

  • Jessie

    May 24, 2006 at 3:35 pm

    Sounds like you’re having a great time of it. I’m looking forward to the hair-growth-on-legs-slowing thing if it happens to me. I can already go about a week w/o anyone being able to notice. If it slows down then I can really let my lazy-flag fly!

  • rebecca

    May 24, 2006 at 3:54 pm

    Mmmm, Tapatio! Yummy.

    And also a big fat yummy shout-out to chocolate milk. I lived on it when I was pregnant! I ended up buying Ovaltine because it has a bunch of vitamins and crap in there that made me feel more virtuous about drinking it.

  • Annika

    May 24, 2006 at 6:06 pm

    Oh my god, those little seersucker suits! I am suddenly even MORE delighted to have a boy.

  • gorillabuns

    May 24, 2006 at 6:28 pm

    okay, i’ll trade my piece ‘o crap canon for the way nicer nikon! he’ll never know the difference…

  • reluctant housewife

    May 24, 2006 at 2:09 pm

    Woo a pregnancy post! I’ll comment on your bullets:

    1) I so agree with this.
    2) I’ll take the camera if your husband doesn’t want it
    3) You are a masochist. Crazy lady.
    4) Tapatio is one of the four basic food groups at my house.
    5) See #2 above. I commend you on keeping things undre control, however.
    6) Yes it’s true! I loved that too!
    7) Amen.
    8) Meh. I didn’t mind it as much as you.
    9) I wore stretchy skirts for as long as I could. Thank God for the bohemian look!
    10) No comment needed.

  • kimmer

    May 25, 2006 at 7:01 am

    Umm, I have put off an appointment to the waxer for a little too long and I have sworn that I will pick up the phone today…here…goes.

  • Miss Peach

    May 25, 2006 at 7:49 am

    Those crewcuts make me want to have a baby. Right. Now. Every time I see them. Onesies tend to have that affect as well…

  • Darren

    May 25, 2006 at 8:30 am

    What?! How’s that possible?! I lurve my D70. LURVE it! And some day, God willing, I’ll actually figure out how to use it.

    And I also like hot sauce. Well, I do.

  • Angela

    May 25, 2006 at 8:54 am

    I have also noticed that people are nicer to me (23 weeks today), and I love it.

    I didn’t notice that waxing was more painful while pregnant, but maybe that is because the new person I went to barely removed anything!

    I found your blog via Amalah, and I am really enjoying it. I was looking at some of your archives and discovered that you are a Jayhawk. Me too! I am hoping our great recruiting class can get us out of the first freaking round next year. We have season football tickets, and my husband is trying to figure out how many early games we wil make it to this year, since I am due Sept. 21. Probably not many!

  • nabbalicious

    May 25, 2006 at 9:26 am

    Sigh. I wish I had a long torso. My ass is going to spread right out someday, isn’t it? (say no, though).

  • PaintingChef

    May 25, 2006 at 12:31 pm

    He’s ignored the D70? Are you even allowed to DO THAT? Is it possible? I may shed a tear.

  • lini

    May 25, 2006 at 2:20 pm

    The bow ties, whoorlito will probably know how to tie them before me!!

  • Amanda Brown

    May 25, 2006 at 3:30 pm

    If your hubby doesn’t want his D70, I’ll take it. :) Glad your pregnancy has been filled with mainly good things. My favourite part is the stretch marks. :)

  • BeachMama

    May 25, 2006 at 6:25 pm

    Glad you are finally getting the “good treatment” you deserve. It blew me away how super nice people were to me when I was pregnant.

    Tell your hubby to crack out that camera, I have the D50 and just took close to 500 pictures while visiting my sister. So much fun and being digital, you can trash or print whatever you like :)

  • Stefanie

    May 25, 2006 at 8:13 pm

    ummmm that D70 is a piece of crap.. send it to me.. i’ll take it off your hands…

    yes.. hair did not grow on my body either while I as pregnant

    I was almost hospitalized for constipation..

  • ms. sizzle

    May 26, 2006 at 11:27 am

    great list!

    my preggers sis is totally into naps too.

  • Cocodrie

    May 27, 2006 at 10:35 am

    Every time one line kills me. In this case: “don’t mind these concrete blocks tied to my ankles.” Cl-lassic!

    Love you.